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Are These Firefighters Ladder Day Saints?

It looks like those ladder safety classes are important.

I’d show you my shocked face, but, well, I’m not shocked.


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The Wild West Will Never Be as Sweet

Limes at 20 paces, then turn, draw and squirt.

You see, you could squirt citric acid in someone’s eye.


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Missing: One Trombone

Also, six rifles and one shotgun.

A storage unit is not a proper gun safe.


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Crime Doesn’t Pay

But it takes care of a monster case of the munchies.

This is for the anti-gun idiots who think restrictions or bans on gun ownership will reduce crime.

Why, if only these two had registered their hammer and axe, we wouldn’t have these types of crimes.


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“I’m the only one outside professional enough, that I know of, to climb a ladder.”

People wonder why I have such disdain for England.

Yes, a safety class on how to use a ladder.


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Earthquake!

It was in Oklahoma, but we felt it in Kansas City.

At the time of this writing, it had a magnitude of 5.6 on the Richter scale.

It had a magnitude of WTH on the human scale.


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At Least It Wasn’t Rape-Rape

No, it was telepathic rape.

And the police want you to know there is no evidence to support the allegations that the victim was making telepathic threats or engaging in telepathic rape.

That’s good, because I was worried there for a bit.


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Is That a Pistol in Your Pocket?

Oh, you’re not wearing pants. Or a shirt.

Robb, I think he’s taking pants-free a little too far.


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The World’s Fashion Industry Is Mourning

Trendsetter Moammar Gaddafi has assumed room temperature.

Now he can join Osama bin Laden on I Got Shot in the Facebook.


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Meanwhile, Across the Pond in La La Land

A compost tool is an “offensive weapon.”

Have common sense and sanity been entirely banished from the UK?

Yes.

It was a rhetorical question.


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